Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
