don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
