He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize