Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
