I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
