So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
