Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
