It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
