Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
whose parrot is this?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
