Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
