you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize