the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize