A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize