please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
