so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
