I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm just crazy horny about you
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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