Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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