I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
