youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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