i think i have herpe
just one?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
