Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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