Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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