8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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