just tell him i said nine months
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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