How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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