The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
