i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
