Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm passing your future prison.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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