This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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