We're facebook friends in real life
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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