Say something about gay babies.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it penis luge time yet?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
