ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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