it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there is glitter all over my balls
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