I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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