He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
