apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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