the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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