So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
