First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
