Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she peed on how many people?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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