if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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