I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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