that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
