Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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