I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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