Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
