Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
