He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
