yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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