I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
And then he peed in my hair
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
