my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
