Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
