That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do vagina's smell?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize