She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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