Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
