I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
