he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
