and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
3pm strippers are depressing
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
