I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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