Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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