cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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