Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
